The real Ron Weasley
by nightshade13
Summary: The Real Slim Shadey.... Ron stile... hey this was G now i think it should be PG and i'm moving it to Parody also..R/R


AN: This is notmine my friend sent it to me so I'm posting it. Don't own don't sue The Real Ron Weasley  
  
[Ron]  
  
May I have your attention please?  
  
May I have your attention please?  
  
Will the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
  
I repeat, will the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
  
Okay, you're gonna make me use my wand...  
  
You're staring like you never seen a Weasley before  
  
Jaws all on the floor like Lily when Voldie just burst in the door  
  
And started messin' with Harry til his head was sore Created a war. Slow down! Why you killin' everybody around? (Ahh!)  
  
It's the return of the... "Oh, man, it's him, you're kidding,  
  
I thought baby Harry killed him back then, didn't he?"  
  
And Severus Snape said âE" no way, he ain't my mate  
  
Snape only scowls and he's always irate! (Ha-ha!)  
  
Hermione G. really loves me:  
  
{*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*}  
  
"Ron Weasley, when you gonna see?  
  
I can't believe, sitting around on your you-know-what  
  
Cussin' out You-Know-Who."  
  
"Geez, Hermione, who asked you?"  
  
Yeah, I can whoop ass with a chess piece  
  
With a wizard like me, you won't need no pol-ice  
  
Think I'm gonna get busted for disturbing the peace, but no  
  
Cuz if I wasn't here, all the fun would decrease  
  
"Scabbers is my rat! Scabbers is my rat!"  
  
And he's always freakin' out about Granger's huge cat  
  
It's not Scabbers, it's Pettigrew âE" if I'd'a known that  
  
I would've squished his little ass âE" it's not to laugh at  
  
Oh, sure, Malfoy rips on me because I'm poor  
  
And my hair's a furry carrot  
  
But at least I'm not a bouncing ferret  
  
That dude Gilderoy Lockhart? He makes me wanna fart  
  
He's smart... NOT! And he looks like a donkey's part  
  
Trelawney's star charts make me wanna fall apart  
  
I'd rather be hanging with Hagrid's Skrewts, for the most part {*EWWW!*}  
  
Between the Boy Who's Scarred and Miss Report Card  
  
Who's the coolest? And don't call Scotland Yard, cuz it's not hard  
  
Chorus  
  
I'm Ron Weasley, yes I'm the coolest Weasley  
  
And all you other people are just jealous of me  
  
So won't the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
I'm Ron Weasley, yes I'm the coolest Weasley  
  
And all you other people are just jealous of me  
  
So won't the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
[Ron]  
  
Malfoy don't gotta scrimp and save to buy some dress robes  
  
Well, I do âE" so screw him and his swotty Daddy, too  
  
You think I give a crap about who's Pureblood?  
  
Hermione G.'s a total stud, and she sure don't look like mud!  
  
"But Ron, bad stuff's going on! Aren't you scared?"  
  
No! Well... of Cruicio... but, you know, Harry's always prepared  
  
Hell, ain't he always prepared in the adventures we've shared?  
  
Never mind that the kid's totally visually impaired  
  
You'd think he could fix that problem with a spell  
  
But I bet he thinks his specs fit his character well  
  
And Danny Radcliffe can't wear contacts anyway  
  
Much to them purist Potterphiles' dismay  
  
Eyes that aren't emerald green are not okay  
  
But when Danny smiles, they all sigh and start to sway {*Oooo!*}  
  
Y'all gonna give me some credit? I'm Brit âE" I won't become a git  
  
I'm not dumb, committed to Harry, and Hermione âE" she's it {*smooch*}  
  
There ain't a one of you who's just like me  
  
Hair of rust, like me, who start to combust like me  
  
Who dress like me; rebel, spell, and scare like me  
  
Don't fuss! See, you don't cut it, so shut it, it's all me!  
  
Chorus  
  
[Ron]  
  
My Dad is, like, the coolest ever, and Percy's always being clever  
  
Bill and Charlie with their curses and dragons endeavor  
  
And the twins always jokin' about something  
  
Mum trying to be lovin' but pissed off at 'em for explodin'  
  
Some of her favorite china dishes or somethin'  
  
And Ginny's over there wonderin' {*ERR*} blunderin'  
  
Writing in Riddle's book like she's got no love  
  
Hey Ginny, I'm your bro, listen yo, I love you, get a clue  
  
I say: if you're sad, don't be, trust me, there's no delay  
  
Harry saves the day, it's okay, us three, we don't run away,  
  
Wavin' my wand and trying Windgardium Leviosa  
  
Charms like this is harder than understanding Spinoza  
  
But everybody I see is a Ron wannabe,  
  
Polyjuicing into me âE" they can't âE" crying like a banshee {*WAAH!*}  
  
Cuz only I can kick Death Eater butt  
  
Hanging out at Hagrid's hut, telling Voldemort he sucks  
  
Fighting with my wand drawn and calling out, "Yo, whassup?"  
  
So will the cool Weasley please stand up?  
  
And roll those lacy robe sleeves on each hand up?  
  
And be glad to be the lad with Harry and rad Hermione  
  
No canaries, bad-ass Weasley âE" yeah, I do decree that  
  
I'm Ron Weasley, yes I'm the coolest Weasley  
  
And all you other people are just jealous of me  
  
So won't the real Ron Weasley please stand up?  
  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ha ha  
  
Guess there's a Ron Weasley in all of us  
  
Screw this, let's go play some chess... 


End file.
